Monday, February 21, 2011

Goosepimple Praise

I can't listen to this without a healthy portion of goosepimpling! The Martins make my heart merry. ;)

Friday, February 18, 2011

Ode to Underwire ;)

Do your boobs hang low?
Do they waddle to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder
La la la la la la la....
Do your boobs....hang.....low?!!!!!

If so, you must be over 30, or a mom!
Thank goodness for modern technology and good ole underwire.

I have been nursing a little one for 11 years. Ok, calm down, it's not the same little one! (I have five children, all nursed to their second birthday) I know what working boobs in their thirties try to look like.

Imagine you are flipping through a copy of National Geographic magazine, and you see a picture of oogie boogies in a tribe in the middle of a jungle. You know what I'm talking about - the natives who walk around in their birthday suits - and the women look like two empty toilet paper tubes are hanging down their chest.

Don't worry. One of the benefits of living in a civilized society is the beauty of underwire.

Here is some hilarity from Anita Renfroe. It's merry heart stuff. ;)

Monday, February 14, 2011

I Wuv U!

As my four year old says, "Happy Balwumtimes Day!"
And as my toddler says, "I wuv U!"
I hope your heart is merry today.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The Lord THINKS about me!

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
~Catherine Aird

This quote practically slapped me in the face recently. As a mother am I a good example to my children, or a sad warning of what can happen when your priorities have been out of whack?

It is so easy to wake up one day and find that life just snuck up on you. A few births, a few too many Oreo's, a few too many "I'll start the diet Monday's"...etc....and BOOM. There you are. People get the urge to yell, "TAXI!" when you step outside in a yellow dress. Small children mistake you for 'you-know-who' the dinosaur when you wear your purple sweat suit.

There was a time when it took me one hour and fifteen minutes to get ready for work in the mornings. Now, years later, I can be ready and have five children awake, breakfast ingested, teeth brushed, Sunday clothes on, and out the door in twenty five minutes. Should I be proud of this ridiculous ability, or ashamed that I don't spend enough time on me? On my temple. I AM a temple of Christ. Would He be ashamed to hang out here? Oh dear, I'm steppin' on my own toes. Ouch!

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 40:17: But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer...." It is so exciting to think that my Lord THINKS about ME!!!! Of all the billions of people in the world, and he has the ability and makes an effort to THINK about ME. Poor and needy as I am, he can still be my help and my deliverer. And that, folks, makes my mommy heart merry!

May this year be a journey to a better life. A better me. When my children are grown and remember their mother, may that memory be a sweet one. One of a patient, loving, healthy and happy soul who was a good example and NOT a horrible warning.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Pretty Momma?

I found an old copy of "Motherhood is Stranger than Fiction" by Mary Chambers. If you need help with a merry heart, this will do the job!

Snowcream. Mmmmm.

1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 can evaporated milk
1 cup of sugar
dash of salt
1 large container of snow
Mix everything but the snow, then drop large spoonfuls of snow, one at a time, and pat down into the liquid. Don't stir, just pat it all down until no more snow can be absorbed. Eat right away, as it will not freeze well. (So I've been told. There were no leftovers with which to find out!)
Snowcream gives me a merry heart!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Mommy Dictionary

~Author Unknown~

Dumbwaiter - one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert

Feedback - the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots

Full name - what you call your child when they are in trouble

Grandparents - the people who think your children are wonderful even though they are sure you are not raising them right

Hearsay - what small children do when someone utters a dirty word

Rear Blowout - what happens to the back of a breastfed baby's diaper

Independent - how we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say

Puddle - a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it

Show off - a child who is more talented than yours

Sterilize - what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva

Top Bunk - where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies

Whodunit - none of the kids that live in your house

Spit up - what happens to a clean solid colored shirt

Chin Hairs

"I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows." ~Janette Barber

Is it the older you get, or the more children you have that causes hairs to sprout in places they ought not sprout?! Maybe it's just when you hit 30? Hmmm. I'm pretty sure too, that for each stray hair plucked, you somehow destroy a few hundred brain cells.

Just sayin'.

Mystery Mush

"Mommy, the couch is wet."

The mommy alarm goes off silently, as a list of unpleasant possibilities flashes uninvited in my head. It's most likely water, since the toddler can force the lids off most sippy cups, and all my children drink lately is water because of this unfortunate toddler super power.

I go to inspect the damage. Mmhmm. The couch is a little wet right there - where the cushions meet...oh wait....there's something there....between the cushions......OH YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's an alien it's an oozing homeschool science experiment gone's.......oh, good grief. It's a banana. Unpeeled. Unbroken. Oozing. And it's in my couch cushions.

Apparently the toddler did not eat the banana she was given last night. And to think my back was only turned a second. *sigh*

In case you ever wondered, a peeled banana left overnight between the cushions of a sofa is super gross. It turns brown and spotted and oozes slime. So there. Now you can cross that off the list of things you always wondered about. ;)